You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
