there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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