I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
