What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
