I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
do nipples grow back?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
