Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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