before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
