What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
