The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
