I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
