I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
