My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize
