Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
