just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
