Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I looked at my own cervix.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
