If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I checked into jail on foursquare
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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