You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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