forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
