Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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