I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
