I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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