Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
