We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
he thought i was a dude.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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