Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
