Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
