I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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