I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
