hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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