if only i could text you this smell
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Is that strawberry winking at me??
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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