even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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