Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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