it wasn't lemon gatorade
tell your sister to shave her snatch
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
