somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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