Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
