a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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