therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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