the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Randomize
