I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
