So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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