if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Come see our sink grown plant.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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