My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
