the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
