She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Terrible idea I love it
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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