Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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