i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
