he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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