sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
