OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
