i would punch a child for taco bell
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
