I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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