White coat. Heels.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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