mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
